Life Advice



Ask Amy: Friends with benefits might have a love match

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am a 26-year-old woman in a “friends with benefits” relationship with “Paul” (age 28).

Paul and I had clearly agreed on casual sex and a no-strings-attached formula, but it seems like I have fallen for him.

He is the perfect man I had always imagined my partner to be.

I think he also has feelings for me, but maybe he is too scared to show his affection and to tell me how he really feels.

He often talks about how much he likes me and at the same time brings up his other love interests. This puts me in a very confused state.

I do not know if he really loves me or is just playing games with me.


How do I know if this man really loves me?

— Confused

Dear Confused: Your question illustrates the idea that — for some people — expressing honesty and emotional intimacy seems to be more challenging than tolerating the uncertainty and other related risks of having casual sex.

The storyline that you and “Paul” are currently enacting is age-old. It is the stuff of rom-coms and romance novels (“Bridgerton,” anyone?).


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