Ask Amy: Hospital worker’s drinking cause for alarm
Dear Confused: Your boyfriend seems to have a super-fan.
If he was performing live and the same woman came to his show, night after night – excessively fangirling him – you would both notice it, and, rather than calling you “psycho,” he would handle the fan-friendship by behaving in a way that encourages her enthusiasm but discourages an emotional involvement that is threatening to you.
Fans are centrally important to a performer, but they belong in a category where the artist encourages their enthusiasm, while discouraging an exclusive or predatory sort of relationship that would interfere with their home lives, as well as the work.
No, I don’t think you’re being paranoid. I think this fan-relationship bothers you because it has become very time consuming, seems to be growing, and because your boyfriend is encouraging it, while at the same time blaming you for following your instincts and honestly expressing your concern.
Dear Amy: “Hanging On” had a longtime partner who had terrible hygiene and lazy household habits. You focused on their unhealthy relationship, but this person needs to see a doctor!
— Upset
Dear Upset: “Hanging On” has a partner who seems to have an array of problems, which had been percolating for the entire length of their 30-year relationship. I agree that she needs help.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2020 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
