Ask Amy: Cultural divide leads to family estrangement
Currently, the family geometry is a straight line: Your husband on a point at one end, your daughter at the other, and you in the middle.
Maybe you can manipulate this into a triangle. You are on an axis with your daughter. You communicate with her along that axis as much as you want to.
You are on an axis with your husband, communicating along that axis.
The axis between your daughter and your husband exists and is open, in case either wants to try to close it.
You have a right to have a relationship with your own daughter, on whatever terms you and she set.
I understand that if you have this relationship openly, your husband could make your life tough, and if that is the case you will have to make a challenging decision about your own marriage.
A therapist, clergy, or an elder from your husband’s native culture might be able to mediate this between the two of you – or simply talk some sense into him.
Dear Amy: I have a very dear friend who I have known for many years.
I share things with her that I never share with anyone else.
I have been trying to open a savings account with her as the beneficiary, however I need her Social Security number to do this.
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