ArcaMax

Dear Dumbfounded: First this: You cannot “make up” for a lack of affection, neglect, or imbalanced treatment during your daughter’s earlier years. You can only do your best to acknowledge the validity of your daughter’s experience, apologize, ask for forgiveness and try to start fresh — as two adults who share a complicated history.

Your daughter is a medical resident, and so she is probably not going to have the extra emotional bandwidth to work on your relationship. During a very high stress situation (headed to a new place with an extremely challenging job), she said something harsh and unkind. I think you should try to let this incident go, give your daughter space to succeed and heal, and emphasize to her that you are working hard to become the mother she deserves to have.

Dear Amy: I am a class of 2020 high school graduate.

While the last couple of months of my high school experience were marred by awkward Zoom goodbyes and anticlimactic endings, I kept myself going through it all with the thought that in a few short months, I would be flying off to my dream college.

As this summer came to an end, on the very same day all my friends left for college, my university announced the cancelation of all in-person classes and on-campus housing for the entire year.

While my friends all text me about the wonders of college life: the freedom, excitement and new friends that they are making, I sit at home and contemplate the year ahead.

In one moment, I lost my friends from high school, and also the opportunity to meet any new friends at my college for at least a year.

How can I make the most of this situation and not feel too envious of my friends — off enjoying their lives in college?

— A Sad 18-year-old

Dear Sad: I can only imagine what this must feel like. I could point out how much worse things could be, or point to your own privileges, but — don’t you hate it when people do that?

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