Life Advice



Ask Amy: Marrying couple may have to dis-invite guests

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My fiance and I are getting married this fall. We will NOT be postponing the wedding.

Our venue is assuring us that we are on track and that our guest list of 150 will be allowed into the venue by then.

It’s getting close to the time when we have to mail invitations, and I’m worried about what to do if the social gathering restrictions tighten again before the wedding.

If that happens, how do we possibly dis-invite only some of the guests? Is there any tactful way to do this?

Not the Tacky Bride

Dear Bride: First of all, give me the name of your venue’s manager – this person seems to possess more insight into the movement of this global pandemic than the CDC.


My point is – it seems foolhardy to make any specific assumptions about larger gatherings scheduled for this fall. You should understand this, and you should urge your guests to also understand -- and to be prepared for the possibility that your plans could change radically, with relatively little notice.

I suggest a note included with your invitation, saying, “Due to the pandemic, we are forced to face the possibility that our plans may have to change, with relatively short notice, and that we might have to substantially truncate our guest list, due to local restrictions. We promise to do our best to keep in touch with all of you. The health and safety of all of our guests will always come first. Don’t hesitate to contact us if you have questions, and – fingers crossed – we will be able to celebrate together.”

It is not “tacky” to be honest and authentic. Your wedding gift to your guests will be to care, deeply, about their health and safety.

Dear Amy: I am trying to untangle my long-term problems from some short-term pandemic-related ones. I don't know where to start. I am a 50-year-old, married woman who runs a small business, mostly from home.


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