ArcaMax

Unfortunately, realistically – the person who enters into marriage and parenthood by immediately retreating and acting like an entitled child is establishing that he has no intention of being a partner. Your behavior (whether “nagging” OR encouraging) has little impact on him.

If he proved capable of caring for a home and child, he might be a good candidate for being the primary at-home parent (while you remained the main breadwinner).

The qualities for being a good dad are remarkably similar to the qualities for being a good employee: Demonstrating the dedication to show up every single day; performing tasks that are boring, repetitive, and thankless; and having a boss (your baby) who might occasionally scream at you. And guess what? You can’t quit!

So far, your husband does not demonstrate any of these qualities.

He may have a substance abuse or mental health issue that has caused this behavior, but again – those are issues only he can work to fix.

The good news is that YOU sound like a solid, responsible person – and you will be a great role model for your child.

Dear Amy: About 15 years ago my sister sold her house and started living in rented accommodations in the winter. She camps from May to October. This has resulted in her calling me up three to five times a year, asking if she could stay with us in the city while she went to appointments (such as dentist, doctor, car repair etc.).

Last year my siblings and I inherited some money. I was hoping that she would buy some basic accommodation (such as a condo) somewhere in our province in Canada.

My sister’s winter rental is ending and like clockwork she has just contacted me to see if she can stay with us for two nights.

I am really struggling with how to answer her. Part of me says to just go ahead and let her stay with us for a couple of days – but my wife and I don’t want to enable a lifestyle that depends on us having her in our home several times a year.

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