Ask Amy: Spouse considers leaving alcoholic wife
Dear Amy: My wife and I are in our mid-50s. We have been married over 30 years. She is an alcoholic, but is trying to stay sober through AA.
She has been successful for periods of time, but relapses, usually at difficult periods in our lives (like the current COVID-19 crisis).
We have seen several marriage counselors throughout the years. I can honestly say that we have both tried hard to make things work when many relationships would have broken up after going through what we have.
The problem is that I have laid out the criteria for me to leave. (You can't have ultimatums in Al-Anon).
She has frequently crossed the line, and yet I have stayed.
Like all of us, she has traits that I would rather she didn't have. But the worst is chronic lying. It is usually related to drinking, but it tells me she may never be able to stay sober for a longer period of time.
It has created a trust issue I fear I may never be able to get over.
She is currently away at treatment - again - and I am thinking of leaving when she gets back. I feel that I don't have an equal partner in my life.
Do you have thoughts, besides more counseling?
In a Corner
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