ArcaMax

Dear Enough: If being religious is a core value for your mother-in-law, she will quite naturally visit and revisit this topic with her son.

Because you two live overseas and are communicating via videoconferencing and telephone, some of her clutching and attempts to control will be amplified. This might be because she is anxious and lonely, but I have also noticed that one aspect of long-distance communicating is that it can be challenging to come up with things to talk about.

You two should come up with topics to discuss with her; keep a list on a notepad near your laptop. Think of stories and recipes to share, and let her help you make little decisions – “We’re looking at these two kinds of tile for the bathroom – which do you like best?”

Your husband should ponder and practice some responses that might reassure his mother, without encouraging her toward discussions he does not want to have. “OK, Mom, I realize this is important to you. I’ll let you know if anything changes for me. Let’s talk about something else, OK?”

He should also be brave enough to disappoint his anxious mother: “Mom, you did a great job raising me, but from here on out, I’m in charge of my own life.”

I also think it’s OK to create a little distance, and to be honest about the reason.

Dear Amy: I’ve been working from home for the past two months, but once things start opening up again, my job will require frequent business travel. In the past, I was usually on the road for about two weeks each month.

I am not looking forward to having all that contact with large numbers of people -- in airports, on planes, restaurants, etc. I’m also not too keen on rental cars and hotel rooms.

I really like my job and my co-workers. The work suits my skills and interests. The pay and benefits are good. I feel torn between keeping a good job that will increase my exposure to the coronavirus, and trying to find a new job in a sluggish economy with millions of other people looking for work at the same time.

Concerned Business Traveler

Dear Concerned: This anxiety creates a legitimate and necessary series of conversations to have with your employers. You should be confident that they will develop a strategy for work-related travel that will reduce your risk as much as possible, as well as reducing your need to travel so frequently.

Travel will be vastly transformed, much as it was after 9/11. We will all tiptoe out into the world, using the knowledge we have gained to protect ourselves, and others.

Dear Amy: I thought your response to “Mom” was way too harsh. Mom was trying to establish a good relationship with her gay son, and you needlessly shamed her.

Upset Reader

Dear Upset: I responded that both “Mom” and her son seemed to be playing a game of sorts, endangering their already fragile relationship. I hope my “harsh” response inspired her to react to him differently.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)