Ask Amy: Wonderful grandson is terrible at the table
I wouldn't present this as a top-line concern, however -- because the whole family is readjusting to your grandson's re-emergence, you should step carefully and kindly into his life.
Adolescent boys are sensitive and tender creatures, with acute awareness about being judged by others, and they are surrounded by conflicting and confusing messages about how they should behave.
For now, don't correct him, hint, nudge, or use body language to convey your disapproval.
You want to be the people in his life who completely accept him, right now -- just as he is. When he is feeling more comfortable, he will relax and start watching how you comport yourselves, and over time you can model and offer gentle instruction.
A great way to introduce table manners is to involve him in cooking a meal. All teens should know how to make a stack of tasty pancakes.
Show him how to set the table. And then sit down and eat together.
Dear Amy: My boyfriend has made a habit out of using birthdays and holidays as an opportunity to upgrade his own lifestyle -- under the guise of generous gift giving.
After buying himself the latest upgraded laptop, he gave me his used laptop for Christmas. (He did spend money getting it cleaned up.)
For my last birthday he took that opportunity to upgrade his own set of scuba gear and gave me his used gear.
The thing is, I'm not a diver, and my current laptop is perfectly adequate for my needs (the one he gave me is much less portable).
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