Ask Amy: Wonderful grandson is terrible at the table
He gets upset if I politely decline these gifts, so these items are really just taking up valuable closet space at this point.
Am I ungrateful or am I justified in feeling a bit stuck in an ungrateful recipient position?
I'm also not able to figure out why exactly this irks me, and it seems ingenious to fake enthusiasm as I'm walking gifts over to the closet.
Your reaction?
-- Gift Horse
Dear Gift Horse: This irks you because it is irksome.
There is nothing at all wrong with giving a loved one a reconditioned, used, vintage, second-hand gift (in my opinion), as long as the item is personal in nature, wished for or asked for -- and not the direct descendant of the giver's own upgrade!
(I'm talking about you -- unwanted, unloved, and unused scuba gear!)
You should convey to your guy, "Honey, if you want to give yourself new stuff, then good for you! But I don't want your castoffs. In the future, you should sell the stuff you don't want and use the proceeds however you wish."
You might be able to drive this point home the next time you upgrade your phone. Wrap up the old one and present it to your guy.
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