Life Advice



Ask Amy: Estranged dad is now angling for an intro

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My estranged father, who lives hundreds of miles away, has been in and out of my life for most of my life.

My mother detests him, for very good reason. They have a terrible past.

He has made some effort -- not great, but some -- to be more involved in my life since I was 19 years old.

I am now 37, married, and with three kiddos of my own.

I talk to my father two or three times a year on the phone. Really, it is just small talk, but the hard part is that now he wants to meet my kids.

I am not trying to hurt him and certainly never want to hurt my mother, who raised me.


I feel I am supposed to hate him for how crappy he was to me and my mother, but it is just not in me to be that way.

My mother and stepfather, who raised me, would be so hurt if I allowed him to meet my family.

The reality is that my children do not even know who he is. They don't know that he exists.

I am also not even sold on the idea that he should be able to meet my kids.


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