Ask Amy: Daughter wants distance after wedding nightmare
Dear Amy: I have been dating my boyfriend for over three years. Things with him are pretty good. My family and friends love him.
We started dating shortly after my ex and I broke up. I thought I was ready, but I have been having feelings toward my ex. Recently, my ex and I began texting, the conversation was something that I missed -- we were good friends. But then he told me that he still thinks of me, so I wished him well and stopped the conversation.
We broke up for a reason, and getting back together is out of the question, but still, I have lingering feelings.
I know none of this is fair to the current boyfriend. I feel selfish and ashamed.
I'd like the thoughts and feelings toward my ex to stop. I want to feel like I have properly moved on. Am I just selfish?
-- Wandering Eyes
Dear Wandering: Your current relationship is pretty good. Your friends and family love him. Do you? Is he your forever guy? At the three-year mark, you should have an idea.
This relationship might be a transitional one for you. But if some element of friendship is missing, you might be able to work on that. Have you been self-protective? Are you being emotionally intimate and available to him?
Your current guy could be wonderful, loving and kind, but he might not be a match for you. If that is the case, you owe it to him to be honest. There is no need to find fault with him (or you). It's a question of chemistry, and the mysterious intricacy of attraction.
Dear Amy: I'm another reader objecting to you calling squirrels "rodents" and a bunch of scampering squirrels an "infestation." Your reaction to these beautiful and harmless animals is too harsh.
-- Squirrel Lover
Dear Lover: I once had two squirrels chew their way into my attic, and then chew their way out of the first floor of my house. The damage was quite impressive.
Yes, squirrels are rodents and yes, they can be very destructive.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
