ArcaMax

Dear I Don't: What these students are doing is to assume and express the privilege of people who don't believe they have to ask permission, but need only to thank you for understanding that they are following a certain course of action.

They are telling you what they are doing. They are giving you notice of their scheduling conflict, and you are to accept without question that they have other plans.

At the beginning of your season, you could try to train them to perhaps behave differently toward you. Tell them, "In case of a conflict, I expect you to contact me in advance and ask if you can be relieved or excused from training that day. Your schoolwork comes first. Things happen. I understand that conflicts arise, but if I don't excuse you from practice, then consider yourself not excused. Got it? Thank you for understanding."

Dear Amy: Your alarmed response to the question from "Newlywed" was truly bizarre. Her husband was being possessive. They worked together, and he wanted to continue to work with her. He didn't want to go to work without her and didn't want her to change jobs.

Maybe this guy just really loves his wife! Your answer suggested that he was some kind of monster!

-- Upset

Dear Upset: I genuinely hope I was overreacting to this. But where you saw devotion, I saw control. Control and possessiveness are not love.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)