ArcaMax

Dear Wondering: I don't think it's wise, or helpful, to ask your uncle's widow outright if she would like to abruptly and completely discontinue this relationship with you and your family.

Instead, you should behave as you always have, and watch and listen for cues from her. You should contact her and say, "We'd like to visit, but we understand that you are going through a challenging transition. I hope you don't feel an obligation, but please understand that if you'd like a visit from us, just say the word and we'll jump into the car. Regardless, we want you to know that we care about you and would like to keep in touch."

Dear Amy: The note from "Seen it All" centered on how to respond to irate customers.

Many years ago, while working for the nation's largest airline, all public contact managers and frontline customer agents were provided with several training sessions, which focused on the difference between sympathy and empathy when responding to difficult, mishandled or irate customers. This also applies to everyday staff interactions within a company ... or even at home.

For example, a sympathetic answer would be, "I'm sorry you were asked to do that."

On the other hand, an empathetic response tends to calm things down before asking, "What would you like me to do?"

Here's an example: "I don't blame you for feeling that way. I'd probably feel the same. How can we resolve this to your satisfaction?" Or, "How can we handle this differently in the future?"

-- Steve in Tulsa, OK

Dear Steve: I agree that these approaches would work well at home, too. Thank you!

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)