ArcaMax

"Ultra-conservative and evangelical" people are tasked with the same duties, burdens and privileges as you are: to love and respect fellow human beings. If your friends choose not to recognize, love and respect the basic humanity of people they disagree with, then they should be called out and challenged on their beliefs and behavior.

Plus, gossiping about and armchair-critiquing others while lounging in comfort in someone else's vacation home is bad form. They don't sound like good or gracious guests but -- because of your silence -- they've been denied access to your point of view and a possible course correction.

Dear Amy. I'm having trouble figuring out how to proceed in my relationship with my uncle's widow, "Barbara."

I like Barbara and have found her to be an interesting and intelligent person.

We didn't see a lot of them because we all live quite a distance away, but in the past couple of years we visited them several times.

Barbara always seemed to welcome our visits, and sometimes it was phone calls from her that led to our choice to travel to see them.

Yet at the same time, she often seemed to read ill intent where there was none, and sometimes made rather cutting remarks aimed at me.

This happened again after my uncle's funeral. I know that she was under a great deal of stress and sadness at the time, but I'm wondering if she would rather discontinue our relationship now. She has a lot of family around her who seem very supportive, so I don't think she really needs us to visit, and it seems like quite possibly now that my uncle is gone, she really would rather we didn't.

Do you have any suggestions?

-- Wondering

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