ArcaMax

Dear Girlfriend: Your boyfriend is doing the right thing by being transparent with you about these text messages. The downside of him being so open with you is that you have taken on this drama.

You should not contact her. First of all, this is not your business. You do not own this man; you don't have the right to tell someone not to contact him.

It does seem to me, however, that an "I can't wait to be with you again, baby" message should be met with a one-time "We have broken up. It's time for you to move on" message (from him).

If he is even passively stringing her along until she repays him, then he is being almost as manipulative as she is.

You don't mention what amount of money is still owed, but your boyfriend should let his ex continue to pay her debt, and then he should consider stopping all contact -- when she still has a minimal amount left to pay. Forgiving that last payment might be in everyone's best interest.

Dear Amy: Our son-in-law "Steve's" stepfather, "Tom," is a man with whom my husband and I have had a cautious but cordial relationship for many years.

Over the past year, Steve and Tom have had a major falling out and Tom is banned from having any contact or relationship with Steve and his family (our daughter and grandkids). We support Steve's stand on this, since there has been a troubled relationship between them for many years.

Tom and his wife "Martha" (Steve's mother) are having marital issues, but remain together for now.

We all live in the same town and have done many joint family gatherings (birthdays, holidays, etc.) together over the years, until this recent rift.

Now Martha joins family social gatherings alone, so we have had no interactions with Tom for over a year.

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