Ask Amy: New girlfriend wants to X ex's texts
Soon Steve, our daughter and the grandkids are moving out of state.
We are not sure how to continue to support Steve's family, by not socializing with Tom once they are gone. We have always had a good relationship with Martha.
Now that Steve and family aren't present, should we continue to exclude Tom?
What do we say to Martha when we invite her to gatherings, or if she invites us to her house where Tom might be present?
-- It's Complicated
Dear Complicated: "Steve" is well within his rights to exclude his stepfather and to ask that you also exclude him if Steve and family will be present in your home.
Steve does not get to insist that you must also exclude his stepfather when Steve is not even in the state, however.
You should behave in a way that most honors your independent relationship with "Martha."
Dear Amy: Ouch! I thought you were a little too tough on "K in Colorado" the older man who is frustrated because so many people assume he is his son's grandfather. I hope you are rethinking your answer to him.
-- Stung
Dear Stung: "K" used his frustration over this as a justification for belittling an overweight woman, in his son's presence. I think he needed a reality check.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
