Ask Amy: Spouse is ensnared in alarming marriage
I hope you will take your situation extremely seriously and develop a safety plan for when you are ready to leave. Victims of intimate partner violence (IPV) are at an extremely heightened risk when leaving, and it is important to have a plan in place.
You could take the first steps by contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org or call (800) 799-7233). It is important to make sure you contact The Hotline safely -- if you and your husband share a computer at home and if he can check your phone or computer searches at work, you could be at risk. Do your research and make the Hotline call from a friend's computer or phone.
I genuinely hope I am overreacting to your situation. I also hope you will take this very seriously.
Dear Amy: My daughter, "Annie," joined a local theater group five years ago. Her younger brother (there is a five-year age difference) is now old enough to join, and has asked to enroll.
She is livid. She says it is her "thing," and that letting him be part of it will ruin it for her.
Should I deny her brother the opportunity to participate in this theater group, or let him join, at the risk of upsetting her?
-- Concerned Mother
Dear Concerned: As a sibling, I understand this dynamic. Each sibling quite naturally wants to have their own "thing." Many siblings instinctively avoid one another's specialties and special interests.
As a parent, however, I don't think you should let your daughter push the family around. "Annie" does not get to own "theater" as an overall pursuit.
Dionysus, the Greek patron of the theater, would not be pleased.
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