Life Advice



Ask Amy: Holiday hostess wants guests to pitch in

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have a holiday etiquette question.

In my family, when a gathering involves food, everyone brings something.

I think it's helpful, giving, polite, respectful and "the right thing to do."

Even when I travel to go to family gatherings, I always bring something, whether it is something store bought, or a homemade goodie. I would be embarrassed to walk in empty-handed!

I host many family gatherings. My sister-in-law (my brother's wife) and her family travel back to the hometown by car to attend these gatherings.

Each and every time, her family of five will come to my home, bringing nothing but their appetites!


They're of the mindset that because they are traveling to see us, they shouldn't have to bring anything, and never offer to do so.

I personally find this to be rude and ill-mannered.

In the days leading up to the holidays, she does nothing but run all over town shopping. It boggles my mind that she doesn't think to stop to even pick up a bottle of wine. This has nothing to do with means or access, but is just a seemingly self-centered attitude.

What do you think? Should the fact that they travel by car for the holidays make them exempt from contributing?


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