Ask Amy: Holiday hostess wants guests to pitch in
-- Tired of Hosting
Dear Tired: Holiday meals are not like other occasions. They are communal feasts, and I agree that it is polite to ask the host for an assignment of something to bring, even if you are traveling.
Your sister-in-law was not raised by your parents, who taught you that it was necessary to always bring something when you are invited for a meal. Your brother (this woman's husband) WAS raised by your parents, however. He knows the drill -- why is he not stepping up to contribute to the meal?
Rather than passively seethe and then riding your disappointment throughout the season, you could easily manage this by giving this family of five a specific assignment -- perhaps a non-perishable dessert, drinks, or both. You say, "It's all hands on deck this year. I'm wondering if you would pick up some wine and soft drinks on your way into town? We could use your contribution."
Dear Amy: I've had my cat, "Kitty," for eight years. She's 10 years old.
She has always been an indoor cat. She likes to sit by the window and watch the birds, but she gets excited and chatters when she sees them. Other than that, she seems content.
Today I spotted another cat in our backyard. He seemed to be enjoying himself. When I told my husband, he said that it is mean not to let Kitty experience life outside. But I say it is safer inside. I want her to live longer, but I don't want her to have regrets. What should I do? As an added problem, she can't tell me how she feels.
-- Confused about Kitty
Dear Confused: If you want to shorten your cat's life, as well as end the lives of many songbirds and animals that visit your yard, then definitely let your indoor cat roam outside.
I don't know if cats can experience regret. They can, however, experience their own instincts: to stalk, hunt, and kill smaller animals and birds.
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