Life Advice



Woman in treatment refuses to be 'the sick girl'

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

-- Loving Husband

Dear Husband: I can't say what is best for your wife, and you can't, either. Her illness, treatment, and disclosure decisions must be up to her.

I can think of ways she could handle disclosure which might minimize the negative impact on her. After careful consultation, she and her business partner might choose to send a carefully worded email to her clients, disclosing that she is currently in treatment. They could add, "Due to privacy concerns, she will not communicate further about her illness, but appreciates the good thoughts of our business partners and clients. She will continue to serve clients throughout her treatment."

But again, this should be up to her.

Regardless of what your wife decides to do regarding disclosure, she should receive informed, compassionate, emotional support through an in-person or online cancer support group or (additionally) individual therapy.

The American Cancer Society offers many resources (including a live "chat" function) on their comprehensive website: You should also look into caregiver resources.


Learning new ways to cope with her illness and the pressures related to having the world's heaviest monkey wrench thrown into her ordered life will have a positive impact on her emotional health.

You must love her through this, and you sound ready and able to do so.

Dear Amy: Can you put the word out that listening to your electronic devices at a restaurant is the same as using them in a movie theater?

I've had to hear background noise of adults AND children listening to their devices.


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