The kids are ungrateful, so why keep giving?
-- Bard
Dear Bard: Like you, I seem to have a routine of trying new routines and -- looking on the bright side -- you have to imagine that your health and life might be worse if you didn't make these ongoing efforts.
I think the answer is to develop routines that are easier to stick to than these larger-scale ideas. I recently read a book called "Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones" (2018, Avery), where the author, James Clear, made at least one suggestion that seems to have stuck with me. He calls it "habit stacking." You take one positive (or neutral) habit you already have -- like having a cup of coffee in the morning -- and you "stack" a new habit on top of it. So after you have your coffee, you wipe a kitchen counter (or do one pushup). Developing new small habits and unlocking smaller achievements will lead to more. As the author points out, the power of "compounding" will make your mini improvements major over time.
Dear Amy: "Surprised" took issue with your view on who should pay the bill: older parents or their adult children.
Amy, my husband and I have financial problems and have made some bad choices. We are doing our best but no, we cannot pay for our older parents when we go out.
-- Still Trying
Dear Trying: Being financially healthy enough to occasionally pick up the tab for the people who raised you is a worthy goal.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
