Grandparents heap 'stuff' onto the grandkids
Their reaction is overblown, angry, and unreasonable, but understand that when they load up on "stuff" for the kids, they likely believe that they are showing an abundance of love. Sometimes -- especially when people are hurting financially - they will see showering material things as the ultimate expression of love and generosity. This is the limited language they have to express their devotion to their grandchildren.
You've expressed your values, and your message must have gotten across because your mother-in-law is still reacting to it.
Now you should reach out and let these grandparents know that the kids love to see them and that you hope visits can resume when the grandparents are ready.
If the grandparents continue to overindulge during overnights, explain to the kids the "one toy in, one toy out" rule: They can choose what they want to keep as long as they pick out the same number of toys they no longer play with (or clothes they no longer wear) to put into the donation box.
Dear Amy: I am looking for the answer to an etiquette question, and I hope you can help.
I held a private party in my home recently and a friend, who happens to be a magician, volunteered to entertain the group during the party.
One of my guests, to my dismay, videotaped him without his or my knowledge or prior permission.
I found this most improper.
Are there any etiquette guidelines available dealing with this topic?
-- Upset
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