Mom's grave is going to need a larger stone
I have since been invited to a pre-wedding wine and cheese reception in our hometown for everyone that can't make the wedding. I've also been invited to a bridal shower.
I am not attending either, as I am hurt.
Am I wrong?
-- Upset Aunt
Dear Aunt: You are neither wrong nor right. You are responding proportionally to the hurt you feel in being excluded from a family wedding, to which your sibling has been invited.
Your sister-in-law's explanation does not make sense.
Some people seem to actually feel affronted when they are invited to a destination wedding, which would require a substantial financial commitment to attend.
But being invited does not require attendance. And hosts should not pre-emptively strike guests off of a list based on their perception about the guest's ability to attend.
The only consideration should be whether you want the invitee to be included, and this bride, clearly, only wants to include you when it's close to home.
Dear Amy: I literally could not believe my eyes that you published the open-letter from "In a Quandary," detailing his wife's illegal abortion, some 50 years ago.
Some things should remain private! Abortion should be at the top of that list.
I'm disappointed in him, and in you.
-- Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: People have free will, and they have the right to tell their own story, even if that story makes you (and others) uncomfortable.
I give this man a lot of credit for choosing to disclose this event. In doing so, he and his wife were willingly surrendering some of their own privacy to make a larger point.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
