Former high school jerk yearns to make amends
It was a shock. We are both 75.
The birth mother named him as the father only recently.
He wants to take a paternity test. He is spending hours on the phone with her almost every day. He has been open with me about their contact from the beginning, but I am having a hard time accepting this situation. I'm concerned about the amount of time he is spending talking to her and then discussing her with me. It is overwhelming.
I am getting tension headaches. I can feel myself withdrawing into a shell.
I know I must not criticize or complain about the attention he is giving her -- because this will only create a wedge between us.
How can I handle this?
-- Left Out
Dear Left Out: Your life, including your daily routine, changed radically overnight, after this person surfaced in your partner's life.
Urge him to get a DNA test immediately.
It's also reasonable to ask him to include you in this contact so that you may also get to know this woman. He needs to be mindful of all of his relationships, not just the one he is building with her. If you are feeling neglected, say so.
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