Former high school jerk yearns to make amends
Dear Formerly: I don't suggest a wide-ranging apology on social media, mainly because it might lead to a piling-on, as people recall episodes and incidents from over two decades ago.
Mainly, I want to offer you a high-five. You have changed. You have tackled your behavioral problems and are now quite appropriately trying to acknowledge, as well as somehow manage the fallout. It's a reckoning.
Acknowledging your behavior is huge. Apologizing to the people you have wronged is appropriate -- and also huge.
There is an additional step, however, that you may have missed -- and that is asking for forgiveness.
You say, "I did this to you. I know I hurt you. I am ashamed, and so sorry."
Then you let the person vent, respond or recount the consequences of your behavior.
And then you say, "I've worked very hard to change. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."
That's it.
Some people will forgive you immediately. Some will ponder your sincere effort at making amends, and will forgive you later. Some may never get there. And some will be inspired by your honesty and authenticity.
Dear Amy: My partner of 19 years received a letter from a 50-year-old woman claiming to be his daughter.
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