Family worries about sister's fiance
If there is a substantial age difference between all of you, and if the fathers and your mother are unavailable or low-functioning -- you would be perceived as the stable, sturdy lifeline for your sibling group.
None of this seems particularly fair to you, because you want to be a sibling -- not a parent.
I hope you will find a way to discuss this with all of your siblings, in a loving and honest way. The messy, complicated family dynamic can be very slow to change. But it can change, and -- for all of your sakes -- I hope it will.
Dear Amy: "Furious" described their decision not to attend their nephew's wedding because her adult children hadn't been invited.
Thank you for calling out their pettiness. Parents should not be so involved in their adult kids' lives that they are proactively insulted and inflate every slight.
-- Chill
Dear Chill: One of the pleasures of having adult children is that there is no longer a need to fight every battle for them.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
