Aunt cries over niece's life choices
I don't want to risk hurting her feelings, but how do I discontinue lessons without doing that?
-- Young Harpist
Dear Harpist: It is an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes we simply must disappoint people in order to see to our own needs.
Your first duty in your youth is to find ways to be compassionate toward yourself. You sound like a kind and compassionate person (how right the harp seems to be for you!). Your teacher is sad because she will miss her regular contact with you. She may also miss the income that your lessons bring in.
Say goodbye with certitude, gratitude and respect.
Your teacher will have to manage her own sadness, just as you will have to manage your various burdens. She'll be fine. So will you.
Dear Amy: Regarding "Expectant," whose husband was going to be at his father's heart operation instead of attending the birth of his child, I'll tell you this much: If my husband was having heart surgery, we would both tell our son to be with his wife when their child was born.
-- Happily Healthy
Dear Happily: I would do the same.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
