Childhood incident is framed as assault
Dear Amy: Six years ago, my two grandchildren were playing "family" in a makeshift fort with blankets hung for walls. These two cousins were both 6 years old at the time.
Sometime during their play, clothes were removed and my grandson kissed his female cousin's bottom.
Since then, my daughter-in-law sees her daughter as a victim and her nephew as a sexual predator.
The kids are now 12, and have never been allowed any time without adult supervision.
We have a large family. We rarely have get-togethers that include those two families (my only two sons) at the same time.
My daughter-in-law asked me how I felt about this some time ago, and I told her that I felt the kids were young and innocent and that it was a natural curiosity and maybe we shouldn't make such a big deal of it. I said I would never ostracize any of my children or grandchildren.
She has discussed this with my daughters as well, once when she was drunk, and it got pretty ugly.
We all love her. She's a very good mom, but I just feel she's a little over the top on this.
Do you see any way out of this?