ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I was asked (along with four other women) to help plan my friend "Kath's" baby shower. When we first met up to discuss the baby shower, we talked about the normal, usual things like the theme, food, games -- things like that.

Kath and her mother have turned what is supposed to be a simple, intimate event into a full-blown catastrophe.

As the planning progressed, the guest list grew to over 50 (some invitees even live in other states). There are centerpieces, favors for more than 50 people, music, catered food, and custom-made invitations and expensive decorations that can't be found in a party store, but must be hand-crafted.

Kath's mother has made weekly contact with me and the other ladies through group messaging, saying things like, "Kath wants this, Kath wants that, Kath doesn't want this, or doesn't want that!"

She has also asked, "Have the decorations, the favors, the centerpieces, the cake, the food, the beverages, the games, the game prizes etc., been made, ordered or purchased yet?"

The expense of all this has been passed along to everyone involved in the planning (except for the mother-to-be and her mother -- who are the ones who want this extravagant affair).

On top of all that, the baby shower registry includes personal gifts for the mother-to-be that have nothing to do with the baby.

Of course, Kath's mother will ultimately take credit for a baby shower she had very little to do with.

I think it is ridiculous to have such a huge, expensive baby shower and I'm not sure how I should tell my friend about the burden this has become.

-- Feeling Stressed

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