Baby shower brings on the Showerzillas
Dear Stressed: You and your fellow members of the party planning committee need to grow backbones, have a secret meeting, agree on some actual and realistic limits, and come up with a script to communicate your plans to the two Showerzillas.
Use this as a template: "Hi, Kath's Mom: We are excited about the upcoming shower. Here's an update: The invitations have been sent. We are doing our best to hand-craft decorations. The venue is booked. Unfortunately, we have already run way beyond our budget, and so instead of catered food, we'll be asking local friends to bring food and sweet treats to share." Boom. Drop the mic and let it lie.
The reason people aren't supposed to throw showers for themselves is because it is unseemly to host gift-giving occasions on one's own behalf.
Kath and her mother shouldn't be permitted to ramp up and assert total control and dominance over an event where they are not hosts, but guests. You and your gal friends are the hosts -- you get to set the parameters.
Fortunately, relinquishing control, reining in disappointment and learning to embrace with gratitude the reality of what is already in front of you is ideal training for motherhood. This lesson might be the most valuable shower-gift Kath receives.
Dear Amy: This past Sunday my wife and two married daughters attended a bridal shower for my wife's niece.
I was dumbfounded to learn that the three of them went in on a gift together.
I personally did not think that was appropriate, unless maybe they shared one meal between them at the venue.
I would be interested in your thoughts.
-- Steve
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