Girlfriend's control raises red flags
There are a number of red flags here. Your girlfriend seems to be in close touch with her ex. But even if she weren't, her dictates would still be unacceptable. I think it's time to part.
Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married for a little over a year now.
Unfortunately, I've been living overseas for the last few months.
During this time, we've really been thinking about our future together, since I'm close to being back home for good.
We've come to what seems for me a huge block in our road. She wants to move in and get a place with her close friends (they're married with three kids), whereas I prefer us to have our own home. Together. And start our own family.
This is really important to me because I just want to enjoy being married and being together with her, and it seems this is something we can't agree on.
What should I do?
-- Expatriate
Dear Expatriate: I agree with you that you and your wife should live together in order to start your life as a married couple with privacy and intimacy.
However, you haven't been around during much of the duration of your marriage. During your absence, I'm assuming that your wife has done what smart people do -- she has found a tribe. She has found a surrogate family.
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