Girlfriend's control raises red flags
Dear Amy: I think my girlfriend is in touch with her ex quite a bit, via text, phone and social media.
She does not want me to have an Instagram account, so I deleted the one I had. She blocked me on Twitter, said she would unblock me, but she never did. She is very secretive and protective of her phone and makes sure to hide it from me if I come in the room.
She recently attended an event that her ex was at. When I asked her in advance if he was going to be there, she said no.
When she returned, I asked her about the event, and she got very angry and defensive. When she talks to him, she sometimes tells me about it but most often gets defensive and somewhat hostile. She claims I am just trying to catch her doing something wrong. I know she is talking to him with somewhat regular frequency, but I do not want to bring it up. She is going to another event in about a month and will be seeing him again there.
I completely understand if she is happy being with her ex or if they are rekindling that old flame.
I just don't want to be a safety net while they light that fire again.
Any input and/or advice will be greatly appreciated.
-- Whipping Boi
Dear Boi: "She does not want me to have an Instagram account, so I deleted the one I had." Whaaaaat?
Your girlfriend does not get to control your social media presence. Healthy couples maintain their own public identity, and don't need permission from their partner to do so. This is classic abusive and isolating behavior. However, in your case -- you seem to realize your girlfriend is doing this, and you are helping her.
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