Spouse's ethical choice affects a long friendship
Dear Amy: I have been friends with a woman for more than 30 years. She is wonderful. Her first husband cheated on her, they divorced, and she quickly married another man within a year.
I have been trying to be supportive of her choice in mates.
Her husband, "Jake," works in social work, as do I. Occasionally we see one another at trainings and professional events.
Recently he told me he was suspended from his job. The reason was that he did not report that a minor on his caseload told him she was being sexually abused.
When he first told me this, he took ownership, and said he had made a grave mistake. However, over time, and through investigations, his story has changed.
My friend is taking his side, saying he shouldn't be responsible and that he is a wonderful social worker, which he is not. Proof of this is that his license to practice was revoked.
The issue is twofold: One, this guy is still going to professional events, paying out of pocket and not telling anyone about his license being revoked. Two: I'm just not sure I can be around someone whose ethics were so poor that they didn't report a sexual abuse situation, and then lied about it later.
I would hate to give up a close friendship over this jerk.
Do I point out how the story changed, and how sick it is that he is still posing as a social worker when he has no license?
This just makes me so sad. As social workers, we carry a HUGE responsibility, and there is little room to mess up other people's lives.
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