ArcaMax

You also might wish to be compensated for your in-home care (and allow for your disabled sister's expenses); you should consult with a professional estate planner to determine what is legal, fair, allowable and taxable.

Dear Amy: For years, I only drank socially. Then I started drinking privately. Eventually, I drank every day. My drinking interfered with my relationships, my work life and my self-esteem. I was definitely addicted to alcohol. It happened slowly over time, but I feel like I basically lost years of my life to this addiction.

My "bottom" was pretty low. I lost my marriage and risked my job. My kids didn't want to have anything to do with me.

Through the miracle of a 12-step program, I have reclaimed my sobriety and I continue to fight for it every day.

My problem is that I am often undermined in my efforts. There are people who -- believe it or not -- continue to offer me alcohol, even though they know how much I have struggled. What is that about? How could people be so thoughtless? How should I respond?

-- Sober

Dear Sober: First of all, three cheers for you. Your strength and your fight for sobriety are inspiring.

It is a vexing and strange quirk of human nature that sometimes the people who love us the most are so afraid of change that they will cling to a negative past. This happens sometimes when people lose weight and become fit and healthy, or when people go to college later in life to improve their education and job prospects. Loved ones can undermine them, sometimes in very obvious ways. You may have learned about this in your 12-step program, and now you are experiencing it. This is a phenomenon that you should bring up in a meeting, to see how others cope.

Understand that anyone who does this is acting out their own anxieties about how the changes in you will affect them. Don't let them corner you back into your illness. Celebrate your sobriety by being gentle and loving toward yourself and others, but fiercely protective of your health and wellness.

Dear Amy: I'm getting such a kick out of the various "corrections" to your misuse of the equestrian idiom, which you originally quoted as "jumping at the bit."

Some say "chomping," some say "champing." (I personally go with "champing.") But hey -- you have a lot of word nerds (like me) who read your column.

-- Word Nerds Rule

Dear Word Nerds: Yes, I make mistakes ("jumping at the bit" was definitely a mistake). But when hundreds of corrections came in -- followed by hundreds of corrections to THAT correction -- I cheered. It tells me that people are paying close attention.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)