ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I'm in high school. Today I discovered that my dad has cheated -- or is still cheating -- on my mom.

The way I found out is that my dad backs up his phone to my computer.

I opened my computer to print out a paper for my homework, only to discover a text coming through the computer (my dad's phone sent the messages to both the phone and my computer). After reading what the text said ... well, it was very leading, and I got worried. I opened up his other text messages, and as I scrolled through the messages it was very obvious that my dad had been/or still is (I'm unsure) messing around with another woman. I took screenshots of some of the messages for evidence.

I love both of my parents and am very unsure about what to do about this.

I don't know if it's still going on, and if I should tell someone.

I was thinking about telling my grandmother so I don't have to be in the middle of what might go down.

-- A Troubled Teen

Dear Troubled: I'm so sorry you are having this experience. It sounds so difficult.

If you think your grandmother is the safest, calmest and most compassionate person to tell, then yes -- tell her. How do you think she will handle it? Will she remain calm and speak to your parents about it, in order to take the burden off of you? If so, then she would be the right person.

Otherwise, you might say to your father, "You know, when you link your phone to my computer, I can see all of your text messages." But no, I do not think you should confront both of your parents with this newfound knowledge.

This is a big burden for you to carry. Understand that adults go through all sorts of phases, just like kids do -- and they make mistakes -- just like kids do.

Dear Amy: Someone signing her question "Demi" reported that she is a "demisexual." What the heck? Why have all of these new sexual terms cropped up recently?

-- Confused

Dear Confused: There is a growing awareness that sexuality and gender occur across a spectrum. Just as the Inuit and Yupik people seem to have 50 different words for "snow," we live in a society where personal identification is important. And so we are trying to name and describe the particulars.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)