ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I'm a 37-year-old man. My sister is nine years younger than I am.

I had always assumed that our parents treated both of us equally -- financially and otherwise.

My sister was recently looking to buy a home. She asked for my opinion. I told her the home she chose was probably too expensive. She then told me that our parents had already given her the entire down payment as a gift.

I was shocked at how much they had given her, and yes, I was jealous.

My parents gave my wife and me a down payment when we bought our condo. What they gave us was around 10 percent of what they gave my sister.

I asked my sister about this and she said that our folks have also been helping her to pay off her student loans, paid off a credit card debt and give her a "small" allowance each month to supplement her income. She claims she never asked for money from them.

I never received any of that support.

I asked my mom why they've given my sister so much more. She told me that I "understood the world much more," was "brighter" and that I "never needed help."

She said they never worried about me "making it" after college, but they were concerned about my sister. My mom told me they were proud of the fact that I never needed any help.

Amy, I resent my sister and my parents for this standard. Why is it OK to give one child more than the other? Isn't the constant financial support shielding her from the consequences of her choices? I do not have kids, so I do not understand their mindset, and am looking for ways to accept this.

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