Middle-schooler grapples with stress and jitters
Dear Amy: I am a seventh-grade guy. Lately, I have been stressing out a lot over tests.
I know that this is quite normal for middle-schoolers, but I have noticed that I get really jittery during tests.
Also, I am getting very nervous when I am assigned any homework.
What do you suggest I do? How can I handle this sort of anxiety and jitters?
-- Middle-Schooler
Dear Middle-Schooler: You are right -- these feelings are pretty normal for kids your age. I've grappled with this, myself (and still do!).
Maybe you are worried that the material is too hard for you. Or maybe you have a perfectionist streak in you that causes you to feel paralyzed, because you want to nail everything perfectly.
You are in a good position to learn to cope with this because you have already identified the physical feelings. Paying attention to your body and your breath will help you. If you spend just 10 seconds closing your eyes and breathing in and out at the start of a test, you should be able to center and calm yourself. Do you have a "happy place"? Mentally put yourself there, or imagine a big, friendly golden retriever sitting calmly beside you while you take your test.
You should also try "cognitive restructuring," which is just a way of training your brain to replace a negative thought with a positive one. So instead of thinking, "I'm terrible at writing," you think, "Sometimes this is hard for me, but I'm going to make my best effort today. I got this!"
I think that each of us to varying degrees feels a little internal freak-out when handed a big assignment. But it helps to break down the big tasks into smaller ones. Make a list and cross off each item when you've completed it. The first item might be, "Open backpack. Take out books." You'll feel a little sense of accomplishment with each completed task. Then give yourself a major fist bump: "boom!" when you've finished the whole assignment.
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