Middle-schooler grapples with stress and jitters
Dear Wondering: This Thanksgiving, you should bring this up again: "I know I have mentioned this before, but now that I'm retired, I have decided not to give material gifts for Christmas. I just want to focus on enjoying our time together." I understand that changing the gift-game genuinely throws people.
If you still feel pressured, you can ease off of the material gift exchange concept by giving one "gift" to the entire family -- through donating to a local cause and giving them each a card telling them so during the annual gift card swap.
If they give you gifts, your only responsibility is to accept them graciously and thank them sincerely.
Dear Amy: "Guilty" wrote to you about siblings who were now confronting their mother's terrible abuse during childhood. In your response, it would have been helpful to encourage the siblings to go to a counselor who works with PTSD.
This type of therapy can greatly assist with getting through the trauma of what happened to them and help them. Despite the 30 years that have passed, it's never too late for professional assistance in these types of situations.
-- A Reader
Dear Reader: Absolutely. This whole family was experiencing extreme distress. I agree that treatment will likely help these siblings.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
