ArcaMax

I love your instinct to ask your friend if this guy was "good people" before making out with him, although asking this question while drunk skews the results of the survey.

At this point, although you gain nothing by drawing further attention to your behavior, you could ask your co-worker (in person, not through text or email), "I know I already apologized about my behavior with your ex, but are you sure you're OK?"

After that -- let it lie.

Dear Amy: "Guilty" wrote to you, describing a hellish childhood with a mother who was physically and emotionally abusive, as well as sexually exploitive of her children. All these years later, Guilty and his siblings want to try to do something about this. Their elderly mother is active in her church.

Your response was thorough and correct -- until the end of your answer, where you say, "If your main impulse is to ruin her reputation in her church community, then I don't think you should do so."

What the heck? Why should they care about her reputation?

-- Upset

Dear Upset: I cautioned this group of siblings to contact clergy, especially if there was any possibility that their mother had contact with children there.

Otherwise, I considered the possibility that contact with a spiritual community might be an important factor keeping their mother safe from harming others.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)