ArcaMax

-- Unsure

Dear Unsure: You don't mention having a drinking problem -- although your question is tricky because people who have a drinking problem seldom cop to it. You believe that you drink responsibly, and that you don't become belligerent, obnoxious or take undue risks when you're drinking.

You say your guy "doesn't let" you drink. You don't say how he manages this, but generally, as adult partners, you are each responsible for your own actions -- not for your partner's.

He gets to make his own choices, and you get to make yours.

However, because your drinking bothers your guy so very much, you should take an honest and searching look at your drinking habits, as well as his reasons for not wanting you to drink.

If your drinking affects both of you in demonstrable and negative ways, then yes, you should stop, but you should stop because it is best for you, not because he is forcing you.

A neutral third party, such as a clergy member or couples counselor, could help you to sort this out.

Dear Amy: I was so disappointed in your answer to "Upset Wife!" Her husband sent her flowers twice, even though she says she doesn't like them!

I can't believe you called her "mean." Her husband isn't listening to her, and she feels ignored!

-- Upset With YOU

Dear Upset: I have received a huge response to this letter, and most agree with you.

Where I saw a man trying very hard to "connect" (and with absolutely no help from his wife), you all saw a man who wasn't listening to his partner.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)