Readers respond on how to handle chronic lateness
My brother was also late for everything and my parents and my siblings did as you suggested: We went on with life knowing that eventually "Tom" would arrive.
Fast-forward a few years. He had graduated from college and started his business career. He was directed by his supervisor to attend a very important meeting, and as per usual he was late.
When he entered the meeting room, his supervisor's boss said, "Don't worry, Tom, we waited for you. Everyone in this room realizes that your time is much more valuable than theirs. Now that you're here, however, we can begin today's agenda."
At his next annual salary review, this incident was noted. Tom was rarely late thereafter.
The letter writer can spare her daughter-in-law a load of grief and embarrassment by repeatedly reminding her of other people's time.
-- Always Be Aware
Dear Amy: Here's how we solved the problem with my brother-in-law's family one Thanksgiving. We had invited them for a certain time. Both families had small children. They were supposed to join us at least 15 minutes before we sat down.
When they hadn't arrived, my husband said they were rude and we would go ahead and start the special dinner I had prepared.
When his brother's family strolled in 45 minutes later we had started our desserts. They were shocked. They were never late again!
Dear Amy: We were friends with a couple who were always late, so when I invited them to dinner, I told them to come an hour before I planned to start serving.
For once in their lives, they were on time -- and I was in the shower!
-- Tolerating Lateness Now
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
