Couple resists pressure to attend family wedding
Your husband should be dealing with this, for the following reason: These are his family members. Sending you out ahead as a human shield only creates more opportunities for them to bulldoze past you and appeal to him.
Understand that this family pressure stems from the fact that they want to see him! Rather than blame family members for wanting his presence, he should acknowledge this, and be respectful and firm in response.
He should prepare himself (rehearse, if necessary), and give a very polite "regret" to this invitation. If I were he, I would anchor to his poor health as a reason. If he is not well enough to work, then he is probably not well enough to travel to Europe.
He should contact the bride -- not his mother -- to say, "I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to make it home for your wedding. I'm very sorry to miss it, but I hope you will send us lots of pictures so we can enjoy your day from here."
His sister, his mother and perhaps other family members will pile on the pressure, but you both need to stay calm and polite, and respond, "We know you are disappointed, but there is no way around this. We hope it is a beautiful day for you."
Dear Amy: I had a tiny 12-year-old Chihuahua. I had her for eight years, but a month ago, I gave her to a friend, because I was gone all day and it wasn't fair to the dog.
But now I miss her so much! I'm not away as much as I was -- I'm home more now.
Is it wrong for me to ask for the dog back? My friend probably wouldn't give her back anyway. She has already told me how much she adores her, but I'm wondering what you think?
-- Lonely Without Her
Dear Lonely: I wonder what was really going on that you surrendered this elderly dog to your friend. But yes, at this point, if things are different in your household, you should at least ask if your friend would give her back.
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