New marriage faces extreme grandparenting challenge
How do I get through leaving her here? Do I owe it to her to stay?
-- What About Us?
Dear What About Us? According to you, your mother's options are very limited, and ultimately she will be forced into a situation she might not like. But if she relocates to your new town and moves in with you (an option you imply is open to her), it does not solve your desire for "us time." In fact, it saddles you with your mother full time.
You do not owe it to your mother to stay in your home town, but your retreat does seem statement-making, and hasty. Your kids aren't even in college yet. Your best bet for the early period of retirement might be to stay where you are for two years or so, and plan to take long trips away.
Dear Amy: "Devastated" was trying to pull her homophobic mother closer to her gay son before the mother's death.
Thank you for this line regarding the family dynamic: "He is merely practicing your family specialty: avoidance."
I appreciated that you saw the avoidance connection between all of the involved parties.
-- A Fan
Dear Fan: Avoidance certainly has its place; with Thanksgiving coming up, many families will be practicing it.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
