New marriage faces extreme grandparenting challenge
As a couple, your inability to cope with your situation will naturally move this into "deal-breaker" territory. Therapy will give you both the tools to move forward as co-parents and grandparents in order to build a strong family unit. Unlike most, you are having to create this family unit instantly, and you all need help.
Present this to your wife as "coaching," so that you two can hold hands and walk through this together.
Her son is the unstable third leg of your family structure. Even if you and your wife manage to get (and stay) on the same page, he is the legal parent of these children.
The children need strong, loving and structured parenting. They must receive medical care and be enrolled in school. They may also need therapy. Your local department of social services should be able to help.
If your wife wants the marriage to succeed for everyone's mutual benefit, she should agree to receiving professional help.
Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 21 years. We are in our late 50s. Our youngest two children are close to graduating from high school, and will be going away to college. We want to retire early and relocate.
The problem is my mother. She's 87 but is still healthy.
We do not have a great relationship, but she moved here to be close to us 15 years ago. She refuses to live with us, and has declared that she hates where we're moving.
My siblings can't take her in. Poor financial decisions on her and my late father's part means that living in a senior living community is out of reach.
My friends can't understand how I can just leave her. My husband and I have not had any "us" time, as we've had kids our entire marriage. We just want to spend our "Golden Years" enjoying each other's company.
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