ArcaMax

If I approach the pastor I might seem self-serving, and the others either do not share my concerns and/or don't want to approach him.

Am I overreacting? How should I broach the subject?

-- Concerned Office Worker

Dear Concerned: You shouldn't feel self-conscious about raising this topic with your pastor. You work in the office, many people (including children) spend time there, and this has arisen as a concern.

Keep your statements neutral and factual: "Buster has bitten some people -- I think that sometimes he gets overwhelmed when there are a lot of people here."

Ask if there are ways to limit Buster's roving. A "baby gate" across the office's entrance might give him proximity to the action, without placing him in the midst of it. If the dog has had access to the whole parsonage, this would entail an adjustment period on his part.

Surely your pastor is aware of the many risks -- physical and legal -- of having a dog that bites. I don't think it's necessary to remind him.

Importantly, others who work in the office who love having Buster around will likely undermine efforts to limit Buster's roaming, unless the pastor is fully on board.

Dear Amy: I didn't like the advice you offered to "Bewildered Bride," who was worried about including her groomsman's abusive partner in their wedding. You advised her to "run out the clock," and see if this relationship ends before the wedding.

However, the wedding gives the abusive woman something to hang on to. These friends need to be completely honest: "it's her or us."

-- Bothered

Dear Bothered: Drawing this line might prompt the abused party to choose "her" instead of "us." I believe this places him at risk.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)