ArcaMax

Dear Amy: My 21-year-old grandson, who lives in another state, has let it be known to everyone that I'm responsible for his mother facing a murder charge.

When the police phoned to inform me that my daughter was missing and was being sought in a murder case, I answered all of their questions truthfully, fearing that she might have also been shot.

I was in shock and volunteered some information that I should not have, such as that my daughter had previously made threats against the victim.

I had no idea my comments on the phone were being recorded. Now they are part of the pre-trial transcripts, and my words will be used against my daughter in court. My grandson, who is almost like a son to me, always looked up to me as a role model.

That he would now denigrate my reputation among family members is extremely hurtful. I'm already devastated that my daughter would commit such a horrible act. Should I try to make him understand that I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, trying to give the police enough information to help locate his mother before the unfolding tragedy was compounded further?

Or, should I not try to explain myself and hope time will heal this rift?

-- Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: You are not responsible for your daughter facing a murder charge -- she is.

I hope you won't apologize for telling the truth to law enforcement. Please, think of the victim, here. That person's family -- at the very least -- deserves the truth, and for their family member's accused murderer to face justice.

Granted, to a large extent, you are all victims, because (if she is guilty) your daughter's actions have destroyed two families.

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