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Grandmother's testimony leads to murder charge

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Understand this: Your grandson is acting out. Reach out to him, and tell him that you understand he is hurting, because you are hurting, too. Remind him that you love him -- that you always have and always will -- and that you cannot understand or defend his mother's actions. Tell him that you know that he loves and is loyal to his mother, and that his love and loyalty will help her. Reiterate that you told the truth to law enforcement, because it was the right thing to do and that you don't regret being honest.

Face this with as much courage as you can muster. You are all going to need it.

Dear Amy: My partner and I have created an unplanned but very wonderful child who will soon be a year old. My partner's family has invited the three of us over several times, and each time I have to say no.

Their home is disgusting. It reeks of smoke, it is crammed with junk from wall to wall and it is filthy. To make matters worse, the constant neglect of their many animals borders (if not crosses) the lines of abuse. The "man of the house" is a drunk who tells perverted jokes and is always angry.

I cannot and will not subject my baby to these conditions and while my partner understands, it does hurt him. His mother is unwilling to visit us for more than a few minutes before darting out the door.

She also shoots down every invitation to meet for coffee or at the park.

 

Should I approach this bluntly, or should I continue trying to skirt around the true problem out of fear of offending and ruining the minimal relationship we do have?

How do I let them know that my child comes first?

-- Mama Bear

Dear Mama: From the clues you've dropped, your partner's folks might be dealing with more than the man's drinking. His mother might be agoraphobic, or struggling with another illness that makes her anxious to leave her own home for long.

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