Bridesmaid question causes planning paralysis
We all know what happens in a bathroom, and it's hard enough to be in a small office where nothing is really private, does he really need to draw attention to it? He also scoots away from his desk and sneezes into the void below his (and my) desk every time he sneezes.
I cringe, thinking about all of the things he's sneezing on that might make it home with me that night (my purse, my shoes, myself). As I am the only person actually sitting next to him, his comments about the bathroom and his sneezes directly affect me, but others might not even notice.
Is there a way to politely ask him to cover his mouth when he sneezes, and to stop commenting on the bathroom sounds? I feel like I have to teach him how to be an adult, when he's actually in his 40s.
Grossed Out Co-worker
Dear Grossed Out: Why does "Tom" get to behave as he pleases, while you worry excessively about being polite?
Use your words: "Hey 'Tom,' it's tough enough for us to sit here right next to the bathrooms all day. You commenting out loud about every noise makes things worse. Can you stop doing that?"
Frankly, "Tom" has a right to sneeze in the space beneath his own desk. The fact that his space is connected with yours is not something he can control. Your shoes being sneezed upon does not seem to place you at risk. You might want to store your handbag in a file drawer, however.
Dear Amy: "A Concerned Mom" reported that her 10-year-old saw some other kids "vaping" in the locker room. Your answer missed the point: Depending on what state they live in, vaping for under 18-year-olds is illegal!
Upset
Dear Upset: I believe you are mistaken. Sales of vaping products are banned in some states, but actual use of these products seems to have slipped through a legal loophole.
But that is immaterial. Children should not be vaping, and this boy's concerns should be dealt with by the adults in his life.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
