ArcaMax

I don't know if Mr. Wonderful is being honest about his situation with his wife, or if this is his way of showing you the door, but the message he is sending is very clear. It is time for you to go.

I hope you can return to your home base and pick up your life where you left off. I hope, too, that you consider this to have been a useful experience. If Mr. Wonderful wants to resume your relationship down the line, he should demonstrate his interest by visiting you (not the other way around).

Dear Amy: I'm from a rather large family. My mother has six children.

Ever since we were old enough to start making money, she's been guilting us into paying her bills.

She lives way above her own means, because she gets five incomes: Her own, plus money from four of us.

I used to be glad that I could help my mother.

Now, I'm 29 and still broke because I've given my mother so much money.

I don't like seeing her cry over bills.

I see this cycle does not help either of us, but what should I say to her? I'm not living with her any more, but she still collects money from me. I want to stay calm with her, though inside my blood boils.

-- Broke

Dear Broke: You should check with your siblings to see the exact amount each of you are contributing to your mother. Because she is taking money from four of you, she is involving you as partners in her upkeep, and so it is very much your business to know how much she is receiving, and what she is doing with the money. Does she have credit card debt? A gambling problem? Your enabling ultimately is not helping her to cope with her own problems.

After that, you will have to set limits, learn to say a firm "no," and understand that your primary responsibility at this point in your life is to take care of yourself.

Dear Amy: While you supplied a sensible answer to "Concerned Daughter" about getting her elderly mother to stop driving, why not encourage her to sell, or better yet, give away the cars to a child or grandchild in need of some wheels? Then she can rest assured that these cars are kept not only in good running order but are providing a valuable service for someone who will really appreciate the gesture.

-- Avid Amy Fan

Dear Fan: Absolutely.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)